The Bright Side Brigade Read online

  “Why come if you don't like scary rides?” he asked, hoping to fill the ominous silence and answer a burning, lingering question in the back of his mind.

  At the moment, the ride had just started and there was a long, dark tunnel ahead; he had a feeling nothing interesting would happen until halfway down. This time alone with Tracy would help him decide if he was going to confess or if he would have to do the brave, and horrible, thing of pushing Tracy towards Digby.

  Tracy heaved a dramatic sigh and shrugged, while maintaining a comfortable grip on his hand. “Alvin thought it might make Digby jealous. Since nothing else is working, I figured it was worth a shot,” he admitted, sounding so bored and deflated that it hurt.

  What a mess he'd made of everything. If only he was braver or older or better looking, it wouldn't take all this effort to get Tracy to look at him. “I see.” He left it there, not knowing what else to say that wouldn't sound rude or admit to how much it hurt to know he was always going to be second best.

  Realising that, he knew what had to be done, and it didn't involve telling the truth.

  As he thought, halfway down the tunnel the scary stuff hit them in full force. It began with scratching noises on the wall, then movement in the darkness that almost sounded like scuttling of some sort.

  Tracy gripped his hand tighter and moved closer to him, staring around the tunnel in fear. “Is that a real bug or a fake bug?” he asked, his voice trembling.

  Javon tried hard not to be happy about it. “Fake, I think,” he whispered, listening out for any more surprises. But when it came, it came suddenly; a figure jumping out of a side tunnel and roaring so loud that Tracy jumped and squeaked. “It's okay,” he soothed, laying his free hand on top of their joined hands, to give him a little comfort.

  “It's not okay,” he argued quietly. “I hate the dark and bugs and creepy things,” he muttered, sounding a little unhinged.

  It was so hard to sit there, as the tunnel progressed, knowing that he'd done this to Tracy and that it was hurting and scaring him. This wasn't what he'd wanted or intended.

  As much as he wanted a connection with Tracy, to have someone all of his own to be so stupidly lovesick with, Javon knew this wasn't right. Tracy would never forgive him for this ride, for putting him through it or for suggesting it.

  They were about to move to a whole new place, with a whole lot of new people who could be anything from accepting to bullying. They could be great, they could be awful; racists, homophobes, or just generally nice people. He wouldn't know until he got there. But he did know that Tracy wouldn't be there, and it wouldn't be fair to ask him to put his life on hold, even if he did return Javon's feelings.

  Sitting there, holding Tracy's hand, he finally realised how selfish he was being. That it wasn't fair. That he couldn't ask Tracy to suffer a long distance relationship that might fail, all because he'd waited too long to confess how he felt. That was even if Tracy wanted that. He might not care. He might be truly in love with Digby.

  All Javon knew right now was that it was safer to keep himself to himself. Besides, the likelihood of going to a new school and finding people he liked enough to be friends with, or miraculously meeting someone he could trust enough to be his boyfriend, was so slim it wasn't even worth considering. Why get his hopes up wishing for something that would never happen?

  He was young. He was in no rush to fall in love or find a happily ever after. Even if he couldn't be with Tracy, there was no need to dive headlong into a relationship. It would take a long time to feel comfortable in his new school, and if he found a boyfriend there, that would be great, but he didn't need someone else to make him happy.

  That was one lesson Alvin had taught him that he would never forget. If he let his life revolve around someone else, he would never give himself the time or space to truly find himself. He had to be happy in himself, before he could be happy with someone else. Or make someone else happy.

  Maybe that was what he really needed? To be alone, to find himself, and to push aside all thoughts of love?

  Alvin always said that their little group dramas made perfect sense. That they were young and stupid and reckless. That they had time to be those things, before the seriousness of school, exams, college, and real life, interfered.

  In reality, Javon watched a creepy skeleton crawl along the ceiling of the tunnel, while his thoughts drifted. The occasional squeeze of Tracy's hand in his reminded him of what he wanted the most, but his head was all over the place. It drifted from one thought to another, trying to struggle through the quagmire of possibilities and realities that were tugging him one way and then another. One road led to confession and Tracy; the other to self-discovery and cutting ties.

  He didn't know what he wanted, but his head and heart were confused.

  It was almost silly to realise how right Alvin had been. There he was, a fifteen year old drooling over his big brother's best friend. So stereotypical of him. And Tracy wasn't much better; he was sixteen, crushing on the guy a year older than him. Digby was the eldest and most mature of the group, yet completely oblivious to anything remotely close to romance or relationships.

  Javon had always known that Tracy's femme nature often showed itself in the same way as flirting; lots of talking, gesticulating all over the place, fluttering eyelashes and handsy gestures. It was why he'd never said anything about how those looks and touches made him feel; he was afraid to find out that it was just Tracy's nature and not a secret attempt at flirting, like he stupidly hoped it was.

  For Digby, he never noticed those things anyway so he probably didn't realise Tracy was flirting with him.

  And now, here they were, teenage love triangle for three gay guys in the midst of chaotic emotions, trying times and a lot of indecision. No wonder Alvin wanted nothing to do with relationships. He had to watch his six foot, gangly brother, fall head over heels for a guy who would never see him.

  Then there was the issue that Alvin would never talk about. How Javon had their mother's darker skin, almost a deep umber, while Alvin had the lighter tones of their father, more of a dark copper. And Tracy was probably the palest white boy they would ever meet. What right did Javon have to hope they could fit together? How many times had he watched mixed couples in his high school be thrown headlong into chaos, because someone didn't like it? An Asian girl had dated an Indian guy and spent the next year being called horrible names, before she finally broke up with her boyfriend and became withdrawn. Then there had been that cute guy in the chess club who was a red headed, proper Eton-English type of guy and had tried to date that Latina girl from the private school in the city. They'd lasted three weeks before her parents chased him off.

  Javon didn't know what his parents would think of him dating Tracy, but he hoped they'd be okay with it. And he knew Tracy's parents wouldn't care. But it was the rest of the world that was the problem.

  Shaking his head of that depressing thought, he tried to focus on the ride. He'd lost the sense of excitement and anticipation for the next thrill. But Tracy's hand was still in his, and he couldn't keep zoning out of that. It may be the only time in his life that he ever got to sit this close to Tracy and hold his hand.

  The cart turned a corner, moving away from the lightest area of the tunnel and into a long, dark side tunnel. Javon couldn't see anything but flickers of shadow and light, which was much more what he'd been expecting when he chose the ride.

  A quick glance at Tracy, showed that he was tense and silent, staring straight ahead while blinking rapidly. Whatever Javon had missed, he had a feeling it had freaked him out, leaving Tracy gripping his hand like a vice.

  Then a slow, ominous creak reverberated around the tight space and a dozen black items fell from the sky into their laps. When he looked down and found moving spiders, he flinched and brushed them off his legs.

  Beside him, Tracy screamed so loud that Javon winced. “Get them off! Get them off me NOW!” he demanded, utterly terrified as he tried to scramble to his
feet, despite being locked in place by the metal bar.

  All Javon could do was try to grab one of the spiders and toss it over the side, into the valley the carts travelled on. To his surprise, the spider was a cheap mechanical thing and far from real. He smiled in relief and held one up to Tracy, only for him to scream again and push his hands away.

  “It's okay. They're not real,” he promised.

  “I don't care!” Tracy screeched, repeating that line over and over again, until Javon had cleared their little cart of the fake creatures. Only once they were all gone did he quieten, sinking into his seat as though he'd been deflated. The way his body trembled and his lips moved without releasing sound told Javon this had been the worst idea.

  If Alvin thought that a little fear would have Tracy leaping into his arms for comfort he was sorely mistaken. All they'd managed to do was scare him witless and leave Javon as the responsible party, who didn't protect him. Now, he'd forever be the guy who saw him freak out, the one who didn't stop the ride and demand he get Tracy to safety and sunlight.

  The whole plan had backfired and it was his own fault.

  If he wasn't such a coward, he'd have told Tracy the truth years ago. Now he'd lost the one chance he had of finally clearing the air, and possibly having his dream boyfriend, before they moved away.

  Chapter 3

  When Tracy started screaming like a lunatic, Alvin desperately wanted to push the metal railing away, scramble out of the cart and check on Javon. It was clear the plan was a total failure, but he didn't want to leave Javon to deal with it alone.

  As the ride moved through three more tunnels, each causing Tracy to flinch or cry out in surprise, his heart sank to his feet. He'd made a total mess of things and it was no one's fault but his own. He was the smart-ass who thought a little fear would help things along, who thought Tracy would cling to Javon as his only safety in this tunnel. Instead, he'd just caused his best friend more fear than he'd ever wanted to and made Javon look responsible for it.

  Rubbing his forehead, he barely noticed the freaky sounds or jumping figures that scared Tracy into eventual silence. Which was a more terrifying sound than his screams had been.

  Once the ride stopped, after ten excruciating minutes, Alvin had the metal bar moved out of the way and was out of his cart before the guy running the ride could even think of helping him. He rushed straight to Javon, who was helping Tracy out of the cart, while the ride monitor stood by looking shocked.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, rushing to Javon's side. It hurt to see tears in Javon's eyes, but they were unshed. Which was more than could be said for Tracy. He had streams of them rushing down his face like a waterfall, his eyes puffy and red, while the rest of his face was white as a ghost. “Jesus H Christ!” He gasped and lay his hand on Tracy's arm.

  To his surprise, his best mate flinched away from his touch and turned to Javon. Grasping the front of his shirt, he turned to hide in his chest, leaving Alvin to stare at his brother, full of regret and confusion.

  Behind him, Digby laughed, making them all turn in disbelief. But the oblivious idiot was taking photos of the ride on his phone, too busy checking angles to notice them. “That was a hoot!” he approved, before turning to glance their way. His eyes raked over their small group and stalled on Tracy. “Geez, you look terrible. Want a tissue?” he asked, lacking all the compassion that was required at this moment.

  Tracy flinched away from his words and looked up at Javon. “I want to go home,” he whispered.

  Those words broke the last barrier in Alvin. As much as he thought Tracy was a blind fool for ignoring his brother's feelings, he couldn't stand to see him like this. He turned to the guy who ran the ride and asked, “Is there somewhere quiet we can take him, until he calms down?”

  “Yeah.” The man nodded and turned to a small table where he'd been sitting waiting for them. He grabbed a leaflet and handed it over. “They're showing a movie at the far end of the park, on the side of the big white tent. It might be a big mushy for you lads, though,” he explained.

  Alvin looked down at the leaflet and smiled, able to read the words thanks to the light coming in from the exit. “Look, Tracy,” he turned the leaflet so his friend could see it, “they're showing your favourite film.”

  His best mate reached for the leaflet, his hand shaking visibly, until he could pull it closer to his eyes. “An Affair to Remember!” he gasped and managed a tentative smile.

  “It starts in ten minutes,” he said, thankful that they'd have something to cheer him up before his shakes got any worse. If there was one thing that would get him back on track it was a classic romance movie.

  “Anything can happen, don't you think?” Tracy recited his favourite line and gave a small giggle, before turning to show Javon.

  “And all I could say was, ‘hello,’" he joined in, leading the way out of the tunnel.

  As they left, reciting memorable quotes to each other, Alvin breathed a sigh of relief. Of all the plans he'd ever made, failures and victories alike, this had to be the absolute worst. Granted, he'd always known Tracy didn't like scary movies or bugs, but he'd never in his wildest dreams thought that a simple carnival ride would reduce him to tremors and tears.

  God help him, but did he even know Tracy at all?

  Going to watch a movie at park exit. At least 2hrs long. What r ur plans?

  Alvin sent off a quick text to Vito and Rook, hoping to find out whether they'd join them or keep wandering by their lovesick selves. They were almost at the ticket booth and he didn't want to buy them tickets if they weren't going to show.

  In the background, Digby was busy talking to the boys, as he tried to find out what the film was about. The look on his face right now, probably because Tracy had gone all goo-goo eyed over the plot, was priceless. Typically, Javon just smiled and listened to Tracy prattle on as though all these words were somehow new and interesting. He gave no sign of having heard this rant a million times before or having actually been forced to sit and watch the movie even more times than that.

  Still on boat. Be there in 10.

  Alvin nodded and sent a quick reply to let them know he'd buy them tickets and hang around the booth waiting for them. It looked like it was filling up fast, so he'd rather buy them now than have to make Rook and Vito wait two hours to see them again. He tucked his phone into his jean pocket and walked up to the booth.

  The kid behind it was barely older than him, with thick dark hair and beautiful dark eyes. His predominantly Asian appearance was nicely offset by the old school style of his uniform; a dickie bow, a crisp white shirt and black trousers. God, it had been a while since Alvin had met anyone this beautiful before.

  “How can I help you?” he asked, in a voice much deeper than he'd expected.

  “Six tickets, please,” Alvin replied, unable to look away from those eyes, even as they dipped to the roll of tickets and flicked back up a split second later to catch him staring. He didn't mind being obvious and it seemed the stall guy didn't either, as he smiled and tore off six tickets.

  When he handed them over, sticking his hand through the small gap in the partition between them, he opened his hand and left it there.

  Alvin's fingertips traced over the smooth skin as he tried to take the tickets without scratching his delicate palm. The contact sent shivers down his spine, but he didn't hide it. He simply looked up and held the stall owner's steady gaze.

  “I'm Kenichi,” he said, in a soft whisper, “and as soon as this movie is full, I'm on a two hour break.”

  There was no need to ask why he was being given this information. Alvin was smart enough to recognise a come-on when he heard one. He dipped his head in a discreet nod and whispered, “Alvin. At the back of your booth okay?”

  “Fine with me, handsome.”

  With a smile, he turned to hand the tickets over to his friends. It was only as they reached the gate separating the viewing area for the movie from the rest of the carnival that Alvin risked a look o
ver his shoulder. Kenichi was already serving someone else, but their gazes crossed paths for a single moment, before they looked away.

  Even if this thing with Tracy and Javon hadn't worked out quite yet, Alvin still felt good about it. His instincts had never been so wrong before, but maybe they hadn't been wrong at all? Maybe the trip to the Tunnel of Fear hadn't been for Javon's sake, but his own?

  Either way, Alvin had a date in just ten minutes, with one of the hottest guys he'd ever clapped eyes on.

  “That has to have been the longest ten minutes of my life,” Alvin admitted, with a breathless laugh, as he reached the back of the booth where Kenichi was waiting for him.

  “You don't like the movie?” he asked, tilting his head to the right, as though that was a make-or-break question.

  Unashamed to admit it, he shrugged. “I like it just fine. But, I'd like it even more if I hadn't seen it a million times already,” he confessed, smiling as he stepped up close to the ticket sales guy and took in his appearance. Nothing had changed since the last time, but now that he wasn't sitting down, Alvin could better judge his stats. Taller than him by about three inches, a litheness that suggested flexibility and a smile that spoke of true happiness.

  There was nothing fake or forced about his appearance, that was for sure.

  “Well,” Kenichi stepped closer until they were chest to chest; one white shirt against a stone grey hoodie, “I can sympathise with you there. We run the same ten movies at every stop, so I've seen them all enough times to recite every line.”

  “Yeah,” was all he could think to say.

  “You came with three friends, but booked six tickets,” he hinted, raising a dark, but impeccably tended, eyebrow at him.